Blessingways

Blessingway rituals are Native American in origin, from the Navajo tradition, to celebrate life events. Blessingway rituals connect women to one another, weaving a virtual web of support for a woman during the most intimate and important moments in her life.

In a Blessingway, we draw upon our relationship with the honored girl/woman, as well as the traditions and experiences unique to her, to celebrate and support her as she experiences her rite of passage.

Blessingways are a special way to celebrate the milestones we experience as women: coming of age (onset of menses), marriage, birth, menopause. While these are the most common themes for a Blessingway, there are many other journeys to honor with a Blessingway, such as graduations, adoption, moving away from one's community,trying to conceive, miscarriage or loss of a child, grieving the loss of a loved one, divorce or parting of ways and many more.

I have been attending and performing Blessingways for over a decade, and each one has not only made an impression on who I am, but how I see the world. I am honored each and every time I am able to assist or witness someone's rite of passage- those essential moments when we need love, support, encouragement, community, and the tools to move forward with our whole selves the most. My journey began with my own, but I am so grateful it has continued and expanded into a greater community of women under the red tent.

To get more information or begin the journey of a Blessingway, please contact me: sam@ritesofpassageblessingways.com

photo credit: Kate Henze

Weddings and Commitment Ceremonies

One of the most special days of your life should have the words to illustrate that point. Together, we will design a ceremony that compliments the space, time, nature of your relationship and love for each other. I am fully ordained to perform legal marriages and would be honored to assist you and your partner through the entire process, from paperwork to creative advice to rehearsal to event. I have experience and am open to working with all kinds of couples to create the wedding, handfasting, or commitment ceremony that reflects who you are as a couple and the important rite of passage you are choosing to share with your community.

For more information or to begin the adventure, please contact me: sam@ritesofpassageblessingways.com

Blessingway Q & A

What is a Blessingway like?

Based on the preferences, interests, rite of passage, community, and intentions of the honored woman, every Blessingway is designed uniquely, so no two are alike. Most Blessingways do have a basic format, however. Usually they begin by closing the circle and announcing our intention, followed by focused concentration on the emotional, mental, and sometimes spiritual work needed to face a new journey without fear or obstacles. We then enjoy activities that build positive energy, confidence, and community. It is usually during this time that we often adorn and gift the guest of honor. Finally we open our circle and enjoy a feast together. Often other entertainment, such as henna or bellydancing is also enjoyed during this time.

Is a Blessingway religious?
In short, yes and no. It can be a very spiritual experience for some, as they focus on themselves and those closest to them. Blessingways can, however, be as secular or religious as the guest of honor chooses. Regardless, every effort is always made to make every guest feel included and comfortable. Blessingways can and should be accessible to everyone present.

Why should I have a Blessingway?

A Blessingway is a time honored way in which to process and celebrate milestones in one's life. In our society, much emphasis is put on the external and consumer side of these life events, such as the aesthetics or the stuff we want- but often very little attention is paid to the internal side of these moments, the mental and emotional growth that it necessary to successfully navigate the next part of one's path. Blessingways are dedicated to this process, and allow one to gather community and receive support and encouragement when they need it the most.
I am able to offer my experience of having attended and facilitated many Blessingways, and can design a unique, inclusive, and meaningful ritual that flows smoothly. As a result, all the guests are free to enjoy and immerse themselves in the experience without the emotional and intellectual responsibility of hosting.


Can I still have a traditional shower or party?

Absolutely! Blessingways don't usually include gifts other than what might be asked of guests to contribute, such as beads for a birth and nursing necklace, and are meant to include one's most inner circle of friends and family. A traditional shower or party is a wonderful way to celebrate with one's larger community. Usually, the Blessingway is held on a different day, however I have had women successfully participate in a Blessingway and then went on to have a traditional shower after an hour break. There are many ways to mark a rite of passage!

How soon should I begin the process of planning a Blessingway?

Ideally, planning for a Blessingway should start as early as possible. Usually, I recommend beginning the process at least 6-8 weeks before the Blessingway to allow time for the invitations to arrive and for guests to plan attending and gather anything they may have been asked to bring. Depending on the kind of Blessingway and the number of guests, it can be done in slightly less time. I tend to plan Birth Blessingways for 3-4 weeks before the estimated date of delivery.

What services do you provide during the planning of a Blessingway and the event itself?

My services include consulting with the guest of honor or the host planning the Blessingway to meet the individual and personal needs of the honored and her guests and writing a ceremony that reflects those desires. I design and send handmade invitations to all guests. I carefully create the atmosphere in which the Blessingway will take place, and design and often make gifts for guests to take home. Finally, I lead the Blessingway and provide encouragement and support for all in attendance, and lend my background and understanding to every Blessingway I assist with to create an intimate, empowering experience for everyone.

While I do not provide a location, food, henna for guests (I can provide this for the guest of honor), or other entertainment such as bellydancing, I am more than happy to assist in adding these elements to the Blessingway and have many resources to offer as suggestions. I have an amazing henna artist and belly dancer I contract with and highly recommend.

I can also provide belly casting services before or during a Birth Blessingway. I also am able to paint your blank belly cast to something meaningful to you! I have an extensive art background and use it to work with you and your vision for the cast.
Casting only: $40

Painting Cost (includes casting):
1. All over color (you can add more decorations yourself if you’d like): $50
2.All over color plus a simple design on the belly: $100-175
3.All over color plus a mural of your choice: $175 and up
For #2 and #3 the fee is $40 an hour plus materials.



Are men allowed to attend Blessingways? Can a Blessingway be held for a man?

While Blessingways tend to traditionally focus on women, many men find the ritual of a Blessingway to be a welcome and enlightening experience, either as a guest or as the guest of honor. Alternatively, at many Blessingways women prefer to keep the circle to their community of women. It is entirely up to the individual that the Blessingway is for.

Reflections from Past Clients

"Sam, just wanted to let you know what a wonderful job you did. I think very highly of you and think you are remarkable! Keep up the good work and I hope I'll be lucky enough to see you again some time in my life. Here's to you and all my best wishes! Thank you for your services..."
Note from the Mother of the Bride (Bridal Blessingway and Wedding), June 2011

"Samantha lead the Blessing Way for my transition to motherhood in January 2011. It was a beautiful, touching, and very meaningful ceremony, not only to me, but to the attendees as well. Samantha met with me beforehand to get a sense of who I was, what my fears and expectations about labor, delivery and motherhood were, as well as my beliefs so she could really tailor the ceremony to me. The ceremony included guided meditation, a symbolic release of fears, vows to my unborn daughter, affirmations, and of course the beads presented from each person to create a beautiful necklace that I could meditate on during labor, and have as a reminder and keepsake always of all the support from my friends for this time in my life. The ceremony itself really helped me to embrace and face my impending labor and delivery and trust in all the changes my body had gone through and would be going through to bring a life into this world and nurture it."
~ Kieran on her Blessingway, January 2011


"I was truly honored to have Samantha Cook facilitate the blessingway ceremony in honor of my son's birth. Since this was my second child, I was not having a baby shower,however I still wanted to celebrate his arrival. The blessingway was not only a beautiful tribute to my son-to-be but an emotional union among the feminine support system in my life. My friends come from a diverse background; culturally, geographically and spiritually. Sam's approach was inviting to all my guests. Her presentation and explanation of the ceremony placed everyone at ease and created a beautiful moment of sentiment, celebration and unity. I cherish my son's birthing necklace and enjoy talking about all those who loved him even before he was born."
~ Keri on her Blessingway, February 2010

"Having Sam create and host my Coming of Age Blessingway was an incredible experience. Not only was this a birthday that marked entering into adulthood, it followed weeks behind my high school graduation. By involving my close friends to bring thoughtful participation to the Blessingway, it brought us together with deep affirmations of friendship, support, and love. With a new chapter of my life ahead of me, this ceremony was an amazing entrance to that journey. I was filled with so much my love and support, we were all hugs and tears by the end of it! With such a wonderful way to mark this new beginning, I no longer felt scared or apprehensive, but instead courageous!"
~ Clarissa on her Coming of Age Blessingway, June 2006

"To celebrate the birth of my second child, Samantha Cook facilitated a Blessingway for me, which included my close friends and family. Drawing from her own spirituality and teaching experience, she created a ceremony that was deeply meaningful, touching and celebratory. Her soothing voice and grounded spirit guided us through a meditation and rituals that were endued with love and significance.
I had already had a baby shower with my first child and therefore already had all the “requisite” baby gear. My Blessingway brought together people important in my life to acknowledge and celebrate the joy of the birth of my second child. It was a ceremony that was significant and memorable. It celebrated and acknowledged the spiritual aspect of my pregnancy and baby, rather than the acquisition of more stuff.
For weeks after the ceremony, I had a souvenir of the special day in the mendhi tattoo on my belly. Now, years later, I am using one of the tokens I received from a friend as part of a necklace beading ritual as a transitional object for this second child, who is struggling with starting kindergarten. Knowing that I received this small token in love from a dear friend, during an experience full of love, makes me happy to pass it on directly to my child.
Thank you so much Samantha for my Blessingway."
~ Rebecca on her Blessingway, July 2005

Gallery

Below you will find a selection of photos from many of the Blessingways and Weddings I have been honored to create, and a few from my own. I hope you enjoy this special look into what a rite of passage can be!


Bridal Blessingway Altar, dedicated to the Goddess Hera. June 2011


A Blessingway just before the birth of her first child.
Kieran with her Birth Necklace, January 2011


Belly Cast of baby Lucy, January 2009


The Wedding of Sommer and Sarah, June 2008


One of my own Blessingways, for baby #2, February 2005


Another photo from my Blessingway in 2005, learning to Bellydance!